Akatsuki High School Year Books
by AkiraDawn
Summary: The Leader has been doing some cleaning and he's found some year books that belong to Akatsuki. He gives them to Hidan to take with him but what happens when everyone begins to go through the year books? Rated for language. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1 Dana and Marisol's Cake

Akatsuki High School Year Books

I don't own Naruto or any of its characters.

Zetsu sighed. He had two bottles in his hands. One read 'Miracle Grow Bloom and Blossom Formula'. The other read 'Miracle Grow Vine and Shrub Formula'.

"Hey man, what are you doing?" Kakuzu asked entering the kitchen from the laundry room.

"Do you think I'm looking less green?"

"Less green? No." Kakuzu answered.

"Well, I thought about taking some of this Miracle grow, but I wasn't certain about which formula.

"I don't think you need either. You look as green as you do every other day." Kakuzu said.

"Well, I trust you. Maybe today isn't the day for Miracle Grow." Zetsu got up to put the Miracle Grow back outside in the garage.

"Okay, Marisol we're going to need eggs, oil, the cake mix, a pan, the frosting…and probably some other stuff, yeah." Dana said as she and Marisol invaded the kitchen.

"What are you two going to do?" Kakuzu asked.

"We are so going to make a strawberry cake with strawberry frosting, yeah!" Dana beamed.

"Yeah! And we are so going to do it without any help from anyone else!" Marisol said excitedly.

"Good luck." Kakuzu said. "I'm off to the bank, I got a check in the mail today and I really want to cash it." Kakuzu left to make his way to the bank.

"Okay, Marisol we're going to need…a 9 by 13 inch baking pan, yeah." Dana read the back of the Betty Crocker strawberry cake mix box.

"This one?" Marisol held a bread pan up.

"Hmmm……I don't know…that doesn't look like a cake pan, yeah." Marisol dug another pan out of the drawer.

"This one?" Marisol now had in her hands a flat cookie sheet.

"Do you think the batter will run off of it, yeah?" Dana asked wondering if they could use that pan.

"It might. Hey how about this one?" Marisol held up a muffin pan.

"None of these pans look like the picture on the box, yeah….but we can not ask for help Marisol we just can't!" Dana proclaimed.

"Okay well let's just pull all of the pans out until we find one that looks like the picture!" This was Marisol's wonderful idea. And so they started digging through pans.

"So do you think I would look better in a spring wedding, a summer wedding or an autumn wedding?" Itachi asked Deidara.

"Why did you leave out winter, yeah?" Deidara wondered. Itachi slammed his magazine to his lap.

"Hello!? I refuse to wear winter white! Besides, you should know that the cold winter months are hell on my skin and my hair! I couldn't possibly moisturize enough to maintain my healthy glow!" Itachi told him.

"That is a good point." Deidara said as he checked his tan line. He and Itachi had been laying poolside for a good 45 minutes.

"I think a summer wedding, yeah. But that's because summer is the season of weddings!" Deidara said getting up to get in the pool. Itachi followed behind him.

"Do you think I need to lose any weight for when me and Dana actually do have our wedding?" Itachi asked.

"No! Itachi, you've been a size 30 for like……ever, yeah. Look at it this way…the day you can't get in my pants is the day you have to drop some weight, yeah."

"Why the hell do you have to put it that way? You make it sound so GAY!" Itachi scolded him.

"Itachi, I'm just saying that you and I wear the same size pants, yeah." Itachi glared at him.

"But you don't say it like that….you twist it around….you….oh never mind!" Itachi said rolling his eyes.

"We found it!" Dana and Marisol shouted as they found the pan that matched the picture on the box. They squealed with glee.

"Okay, okay! The first thing we have to do is preheat the oven to 350 degrees." Marisol said. She looked at Dana and Dana looked at her. "Dana…..what is……pre…heat?" Dana thought for a moment.

"Hey! Maybe, it's like when you plug a straightening iron up to let it warm up, yeah!" Marisol's face lit up.

"That so has to be it!" Dana and Marisol started examining the oven to see where this mysterious pre-heat function was located.

"You really should, Lola. You need the Blackberry. Their website even talks about the features made specifically for law offices." Sasori told her.

"So wait, this phone will make conference calls? Oh my god, you can connect this to a lap top or PC and access the internet?"

"Honey, you can do pretty much everything with that phone. So, you could consult with your clients via instant message, keep appointment logs, and until you finish up this internship you could even log your hours and send them to your supervising professor." Sasori told her.

"But, would this mess up our current cell phone plan?" Lola wondered as she and Sasori stared at Blackberry phones on the blackberry website.

"No, we'd just pay the cost of the phone."

"I don't know….that seems like it would be more of a graduation gift from my parents once I'm completely done with Law School. I mean I just bought the laptop." Lola said.

"Don't worry about that honey. You really need a phone like this, once you had it you'd wonder how you got by without it. The 8700c is probably the one you need." Sasori told her. Just then Kisame came rushing up the stairway and into the doorway of Sasori and Lola's room.

"Oh my god….I have to tell you guys this! Okay! So I was at the vet and…." Sasori cut Kisame off.

"You were at the vet? Why were you at the vet?" he asked.

"I have gills! I always go to the vet for regular checkups on my gills!" Kisame said.

"Oh…that does make sense." Sasori said.

"Anyway, so I'm at the vet and of course at the vet's office there is this music that plays in the waiting room and this old 70's song came on and oh my god I don't know what it was called but it kept talking about this chick named Lola…but at the end of the song…the chick is actually a GUY named LOLA…..Lola you're not a guy are you?" Kisame asked. Lola laughed as she examined the Blackberry website some more.

"No, I'm not. But I will tell you that I'm named after that song. You see, I was born in 1970. The song is Lola and it's by The Kinks. My dad was not only a leftover hippy but he loved that song so much that when he found out he was having a girl he somehow convinced my mother that Lola Monet was a better name than Claudia Monet…I somehow thank him for that." Lola explained.

"Monet? You mean like the French artist. Oh….Claude…I get it now…Claude Monet, Claudia Monet…so……you ended up being named after a 1970's hit song and a French artist?

"That's right." Lola answered. Before Kisame could go any further with his questioning, he heard Hidan yelling from downstairs.

"HEY! HEY COME CHECK THIS OUT! I WAS OVER AT THE LEADER'S PLACE AND HE GAVE ME A BUNCH OF OUR HIGH SCHOOL YEAR BOOKS!"

"Oh wow! A Year book! I want to see! I want to see! I want to see!" Tobi was so excited as he scrambled out of his room and down the stairs. Hidan was in the living room downstairs. He had set the heavy stack of books on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Oh man, this is too great, seriously!" Hidan laughed. "Here's Kakuzu's year book!" Hidan looked through the stack of year books. "Tobi! Man, I found your year book!" Hidan said holding it up." He handed it to Tobi.

"Hey this is my freshman yearbook!" Tobi said opening it immediately. Itachi and Deidara came in from the pool.

"What do you two have?" Itachi asked. Hidan laughed.

"High school year books." Hidan answered quickly flipping through Kisame's yearbook.

"Oh god." Itachi rolled his eyes.

"Oh my god! Is mine there, yeah!? I want to see!" Deidara ran over to Hidan.

"Why don't you two go get some dry clothes on and dry all that hair off your dripping everywhere. Then we'll look at yearbooks. SASORI, LOLA! COME DOWN HERE!" Hidan yelled. This was going to turn in to a humiliating afternoon.


	2. Chapter 2 Tobi and Chess?

"Alright Marisol, three eggs, yeah" Dana continued to read the instructions. Marisol took three eggs out of the refrigerator and dropped them into a large bowl that already held the cake mix.

"There!" she said. Dana looked in the bowl and then looked at the picture.

"Marisol, these eggs are out of the shells, yeah." Dana said pointing to the picture.

"Oooooh, okay." Marisol took the eggs outs of the bowl and broke each one of them open, allowing them to plop in on the cake mix.

"Now, we need one third cup oil and one third cup water. I'll get the oil; you get the water, yeah. Dana said handing Marisol a measuring cup. They measured the water and oil and threw it into the bowl.

"There, now it says here to beat the batter with a mixer on low speed until mix becomes creamy and ribbons of batter form, yeah." Dana looked at Marisol and Marisol looked at her.

"Ribbons of batter?" Marisol asked puzzled.

"I don't know what that means either, yeah." Dana and Marisol looked at Hidan who was awaiting everyone's arrival so they could go through the yearbooks.

"No Dana, we just can't ask Hidan, we can't. We were going to do this without any help." Marisol said.

"But…Hidan would know, yeah." Dana whispered. At that moment Sasori and Lola headed downstairs. Dana and Marisol watched them closely.

"No, no, no we can't ask Sasori! He knows everything about cooking and he'll think we're dumb." Marisol whispered. Dana looked at Marisol, as if reading one another's minds they both whispered, "Lola." Dana cleared her throat.

"Um…..Lola we need to ask you a question about……..quick think of something smart, yeah." Dana whispered to Marisol.

"Math!" Marisol said quickly.

"Oh okay." Lola walked over to them in the kitchen noticing the slew of baking ingredients slung out across the kitchen.

"Lola! Lola you just have to help us! We were going to make this cake without any help from anyone but neither of us have any idea what this means!" Marisol said hastily in a hushed voice. Dana handed the box to Lola and pointed frantically at the 'ribbons of batter' phrase. Lola smiled.

"Okay first, you have at least 27 pieces of egg shell in that batter, pick all those out." Marisol and Dana hurriedly picked the shells out string egg down the side of the bowl. "Alright, here give me that bowl and the mixer." Lola mixed the batter for them. "Now, watch what the batter does when I lift the beaters up. They watched the batter fold in on itself in 'ribbons'.

"Oooooooooooh." Marisol and Dana said together. "We so would have never figured that out." Marisol said.

"Lola, please don't tell anyone we asked for your help, yeah." Dana pleaded. Lola smiled at them.

"Don't worry, you did this all on your own." Lola said and went to join Hidan, Tobi and Sasori with the yearbooks Kisame, Deidara, Itachi and Zetsu soon joined them as well. Kakuzu was still at the bank but they would start without him.

"Alright Tobi, let's start with yours first." Hidan said laughing at Tobi's yearbook.

"I can't believe this! It's my freshman yearbook from Springtown High School!"

"Where are you?" Zetsu asked. Tobi flipped through the pages. He found his picture with the freshman class and 'Tobi' underneath his picture.

"There I am!" Tobi pointed excitedly.

"You haven't changed at all." Itachi said. "Well except for the outfit of course."

"Oh wow freshman year was so fun! I was the football equipment manager!" Tobi said flipping to a page of the football team where he stood proudly beside them.

"Your mascot was a wombat?" Kisame asked.

"It was! Goooooooooooo wombats!" Tobi was so excited.

"What other pictures are in the yearbook of you Tobi, yeah?" Deidara wondered.

"Oh! Here I am on the chess team!" Tobi said pointing to the chess club picture.

"The chess team?" Zetsu questioned. "I've never seen you play chess."

"Well, I was the worst on the team." Tobi admitted.

"How big of a school was this?" Sasori asked him.

"It was a small school actually. Only 300 in all four grades."

"Wow!" Hidan said. "This is cute Tobi. Did you have a girlfriend?" Hidan teased him.

"No, I didn't…actually I never did." Tobi said. Of course he didn't seem too upset about the matter. It was then that Kakuzu walked through the door. He was back from the bank.

"Oh man, I love my bank statements." He said.

"Hey come over here, we have high school year books." Zetsu said.

"Oh god, not year books. High school was not cool for me, not cool." Kakuzu said walking over to the living room where the yearbooks were spread out on the table.

"You know Tobi, you just don't strike me as the chess type. Sasori said looking at the picture of Tobi with his chess team.

"I haven't played since I cost our team the state championship title my junior year…I made a stupid move." Tobi shook his head.

"Don't worry, it happens." Hidan reassured him. "Okay let's look at my yearbook next!" Hidan said. He pulled out his junior year book.

"Ooooh, Our Lady of Mercy High School, yeah. Hidan that sounds like one of those religion schools!" Deidara said.

"Dumbass it's a Catholic school!" Itachi corrected him.

"Seriously, this was my high school and yes it's a Catholic school." Hidan said opening up his year book.

"Oh look, your friends signed it at the end of the year!" Kisame noticed. "Hidan, you're a great friend have an awesome summer." Kisame read.

"Thanks for your science notes this year…from Kat." Zetsu read. Hidan laughed.

"Oh man, that girl was crazy, seriously." Hidan said.

"Hey! Wait a minute! Hidan! This is a Catholic school…..I thought you were Jasshin! Kakuzu demanded.

"You dumbass fuck! My parents sent me to this Catholic school; I didn't convert to Jasshin until two years after I graduated!" Hidan yelled at Kakuzu.

"Oh read this one, yeah! 24-1 what else can I say –Jon. Hidan, what does that mean?" Deidara asked.

"That was that year's soccer record, seriously." Hidan said.

"You played?" Sasori perked up.

"Yeah, I'll be in the sports section." Hidan said.

"Wait, don't turn there yet…I want to read this note. Aren't you glad the Lit final is over? See you at Bible camp this summer, maybe this year we won't have to hold up the Bible verse flash cards.

– Annie." Itachi read it out loud. "What the fuck Hidan?" Itachi asked.

"Stupid Bible camp! Our high school always held a Bible camp each summer….I always worked at it. And Annie….well I really liked Annie." Hidan said.

"You liked Annie or you LIKED Annie?" Lola asked.

"Oh, I LIKED Annie a lot. I have no idea what she's doing now. Okay, so let's go to the sports section." Hidan flipped over to the fall sports page. "Oh shit, there I am on the soccer team." Hidan pointed to his picture."

"Dude, you do not look anything like that now!" Zetsu said noticing Hidan's much longer hair.

"You were MVP, god you must have been pretty good." Sasori told him.

"Yeah, I was most valuable player two years in a row. I loved soccer, man. I played center and forward." As everyone admired Hidan's yearbook no one noticed that Marisol and Dana had just shoved their strawberry cake into the oven and were now watching it bake.

"Dana, what does the box say? How long does this thing take?" Dana looked at the box.

"Thrity-two minutes, yeah."

"Oh my god! I can't wait to put our pink frosting on it!" Marisol said, her blue eyes full of excitement.

"Hidan, were you in anything else in high school?" Kisame asked.

"No, just soccer and of course the stupid Bible camp, seriously."


	3. Chapter 3 Itachi's Right to Party

"Hey Kisame, is your yearbook as cool as Hidan's? Zetsu asked. Kisame sighed.

"Probably not, lets' see what year mine is. Oh hell it's my sophomore year book. West Kirigakure High School."

"I want to see, I want to see, yeah!" Deidara was so excited. He had never seen any pictures of Kisame from his high school days. He immediately flipped to the sophomore section and found Kisame's picture. "Oh my god! Kisame you had braces, yeah! "

"And a really ugly shirt." Itachi added.

"God, I hated my braces! That was the most horrible year for me and you know what? The braces didn't do shit for my teeth! I still have pointy sharks teeth!" Kisame complained.

"So what was sophomore Kisame like?" Lola asked looking at the ultra dorky Kisame.

"Ugh, I was on the swim team. Although I was the best swimmer, which was cool because I had three regional records. Oh and I was also…on the cheerleading squad.

"WHAT!?" Kakuzu was shocked and quickly flipped through the pages until he found a picture of the cheerleading squad. There was Kisame standing there in his 'Falcons' cheerleading uniform.

"Oh my god, please tell us this was on a dare?" Sasori said.

"No, no….that's me…I was on the squad because I was the only sophomore guy who could lift the girls for all the tricks and the pyramid and stuff. Those other three guys were juniors and seniors."

"I wanted to be a cheerleader….."Itachi was getting choked up. "BUT MY STUPID DAD! STUPID STUPID DAD! I can't hear his sorry ass now….Itachi cheering won't improve your sharingan. Itachi, you're an Uchiha and Uchihas don't cheer. I COULD DO BACKFLIPS BACK THEN….BACKFLIPS!" Itachi ranted.

"Anyway." Kisame started disregarding Itachi's drama. "So, yeah I was on the squad until I graduated. And the strangest part….no one ever once questioned why my skin was blue….yet I was the only guy on the squad with blue skin."

"We want to see your swim team picture!" Tobi said. Kisame flipped through the pages some more until he found the swim team photo.

"Kisame! You were really fit!" Zetsu noticed.

"Wow Kisame you really were, yeah." Deidara said. Kisame sighed.

"Yeah, I was…..and then you know I joined Akatsuki 10 years later and that was when the leader was having that 'join Akatsuki and get gift certificates for a year to Cheesecake Factory'.

"God, that was the stupidest thing. Why did he do that?" Sasori asked.

"Probably so I wouldn't be able to have that body anymore." Kisame said looking at his swim team picture again.

"So, is there anything else in here we should see?" Itachi asked.

"No, my sophomore year wasn't very exciting. But I bet your year book is Itachi." Kisame said holding up Itachi's year book.

"Give me that!" itachi demanded. "God, Konoha Academy."

"Itachi! What year were you in this book, yeah!?" Deidara asked enthusiastically.

"I was a senior…and a sexy one might I add." Itachi said opening up the Konoha Academy yearbook. "We'll just skip over the ugly people and go straight to……the prom page." Itachi said skipping through half the year book. "Oh look! There's me at the prom….hmmm…..you know, I look way better in a tux now." Itachi analyzed the photos.

"Itachi, you are with four other girls in this picture." Kisame noticed. Itachi laughed.

"Yeah, well I couldn't decide on a prom date! Besides, those four were hot….not nearly as smoking hot as Dana…but still!" Itachi defended himself. "Oh my god, would you look at this picture! It's when I was voted senior prom king!" Itachi pointed to the picture of him and some other girl wearing king and queen sashes. "And did I tell you about prom committee? That was some fun stuff right there. We got to decide all of the important things about prom."

"You were popular in high school weren't you?" Lola asked dryly.

"Oh hell no, I was just sexy. I mean of course, I'm sexier now. Back then I was just 'don't you wish' sexy but now…..now I'm like 'that's right bitch!' sexy " Itachi said.

"Did you do anything in high school besides look good?" Kakuzu asked.

"Well….there is this one picture of the science fair." Itachi flipped from his beloved prom section of the book to the science fair page. There he was with his solar system project.

"Seriously, Itachi…….that is the most horrible solar system project I've ever seen. It looks like some junior high kid did it." Hidan said noticing the poorly constructed solar system.

"Oh god, a junior high kid did do it…..I paid my stupid ass brother five dollars to make my science fair project….I didn't realize he had NO creative touch whatsoever!" Itachi ranted.

"Why the hell couldn't' you just make it? It's just the science fair!" Sasori wondered.

"I was very busy, I had more important things to do that didn't involve science fair shit!"

"Like?" Tobi asked.

"I had a date okay! And then we went to this completely awesome party, oh my god…can we say so much fun! The best part was when me and this one girl…."

"So, it sounds like high school was a big party to you." Lola said.

"Oh, Lola you have no idea! We're talking non stop party!" Itachi said.

"Oh my god! Itachi we would have had so much fun if we would have gone to the same high school, yeah." Deidara said happily.

"Deidara, we would have BEEN high school. People would have wanted to not only do us…but be us. Except….MY STUPID ASS BROTHER ALWAYS GOT IN THE WAY GOD! You'd think that mom and dad could leave him home alone when he was 11 but nooooo! Do you have any idea how many social events I missed because I had to watch his SORRY ASS!" Itachi wasn't happy about this.

"There was the party at my best friend's the night before our finals, the football after parties, which I was never interested in the football part. I just wanted to know if I looked better than everyone else. And oh god, the worst one of all…..my mom and dad made me watch that stupid ass Sasuke one weekend and I missed this one girls weekend party at her parents' lake house….I WOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONLY ONE THERE WITH DECNET TASTE IN SWIMWEAR!" Itachi said getting upset again. There was a long pause.

"So……you weren't in any clubs?" Zetsu asked not completely certain how to react.

"Hmmmm, if there would have been a 'makeout techniques' club….I would have owned that. But no, I wasn't in any clubs. Check this out." Itachi flipped to his glamorous senior picture. "I was voted best hair and I was voted most stylish." Itachi was happy with those titles.

"Okay, well that's a very nice high school experience Itachi, but oh my god check it out…..Zetsu's yearbook!" Kisame said pulling out another book.

"Dana, do you think our eyes will burn out watching this cake bake? Marisol asked.

"We're okay so far, and the cake only has five minutes left, yeah. But….don't' you think the cake looks a little funny? I mean one side of it is all….humped up and the other side isn't, yeah." Dana said looking at the cake in the oven.

"Are they not supposed to look like that?" Marisol asked.

"It just looks….poofy on one side and flat on the other, yeah. I just hope it tastes like a strawberry when it's done!" Dana said very excited to get the cake out of the oven.

"Oh my god! Do you think we'll use both cans of pink frosting for the cake?" Marisol asked.

"I don't know how much frosting does a cake take, yeah?" Marisol thought a moment.

"Dana! This reminds me of that one time when we were in high school and we made cookies at your house but I had that icing all over me and Deidara licked it off of me." Marisol reminded Dana.

"Oh my god I know! That was like so cute, yeah. But you know he licked that off of you because he really wanted to do you, yeah."

"No way!" Marisol said shocked.

"Way!" was Dana's answer.

"Awww, you know I was always with total asses in high school. I wish I would have just gotten with Deidara back then. I would have been so much happier." Marisol said.

So what would Zetsu's year book have in store and would this cake be edible?


	4. Chapter 4 Sasori's Math Award

"You know of all year books the leader would have for me…it just HAD to be my loser sophomore yearbook. Do you realize what a loser I was that year of high school!" Zetsu complained as he opened up the pages of the Southern Hills High School year book.

"What's so bad about your sophomore year book?" Tobi asked.

"You're about to find out." Zetsu said. Like Hidan, Zetsu had some messages written in the front of his year book.

"Zetsu, you're the only guy at this school with a plant head. –your friend Aiko." Kakuzu read out loud. "Well, that's….kind of obvious." Kakuzu said. Zetsu sighed.

"Yes, and it's true….I was the only guy at my school with a plant head."

"Oh, so that's why it sucked ass?" Itachi asked.

"Yeah pretty much, of course my sophomore year was also the year I insisted on joining the stupid chemistry club….I didn't know one of the experiments would give me an allergic reaction and cause part of my stupid plant head to turn all brown and weird!" Zetsu said angrily.

"Whoa! The chemistry club?" Tobi remarked at this.

"My mom thought it would be good for my self esteem….it wasn't. Here's a picture of all the members." Zetsu pointed to the picture and it was more than obvious which one he was. Zetsu started to turn the page in order to show the other pictures of the chemistry club field trip to a chemical plant when something fell out of the pages.

"Hey look Zetsu! It's one of your report cards!" Lola said unfolding it. Deidara looked at Zetsu's schedule: English II , world history, home ec, chemistry, Spanish II, P.E., AV.

"Zetsu, what is…AV, yeah?" Deidara asked.

"Oh god, it was the audio visual class where you had to learn how to do……audio and visual stuff. I didn't really want to be in it but I ended up having fun. I got to take a video camera and video squirrels and stuff…then other people would edit the tape and talk about the squirrels and stuff." Zetsu said.

"You god a D in home ec?" Hidan questioned.

"I COULDN'T WORK THE STOVE AND MY HANDS WERE FREQUENTLY CAUGHT IN THE SEWING MACHINES!" Zetsu yelled.

"Oh…..well that it explains it, seriously." Hidan said.

"What the hell? Office helper? What's that?" Sasori wondered.

"Oh that was good times! I got to help out in the main office! Not only was I helpful but the secretaries thought I was fun to look at." Zetsu said.

"You did some weird shit in high school." Kisame told him.

"Oh yeah? Well the cross country team isn't weird!" Zetsu said quickly flipping to his cross country picture in the back of the book.

"Hahahahaha, yeah there's nothing weird about a half plant man running around in the woods." Itachi said mockingly.

"Hey! That was the most physically fit I've ever been…..except for the time I lost a bet to the leader and I had to do 50 sit-ups everyday for two months." Zetsu argued.

"Check these out! The sophomore quotes page!" Kakuzu noticed.

"Someday my dual personalities will force me into a mysterious criminal organization where I will live many a happy day – Zetsu." Deidara read Zetsu's quote out loud.

"What!? My darker half made me write that when we had to come up with the quotes!" Zetsu clarified.

"And the odd part is…no one ever questioned your darker half, seriously." Hidan said.

"Oh here's one more thing you can see…that's all the sophomores on the football field…..we were trying to make an outline of a lion…..because that was our mascot…..as you can see it looks more like a fish." Zetsu said.

"Yeah, your class must have not had any spatial perception." Sasori said looking at the horribly done outline. And speaking of Sasori, his year book had been conveniently located right underneath Zetsu's.

"Sasori! It's your year book…and oh my god it's a 1982-1983 year book." Zetsu said handing over Sasori's year book.

"Oh then this is my junior yearbook. In that case I'm in here a lot. I did some important crap that year." Sasori said. Sasori opened it up to the first page Sunagakure Consolidated School.

"Oh my god! Sasori! Total enrollment 3700!?" Kakuzu was shocked at the numbers printed on the title page.

"Yeah, I went to a huge high school."

"Holy shit, the hair….so…much…big hair." Hidan said looking at the first few pages.

"Hidan, the year was 1983….you had to have big hair or really tight pants to survive." Sasori said.

"He's right." Lola agreed.

"Ooooooooh, that's right! You two are like…..old, yeah." Deidara said. Sasori glared at Deidara.

"We are not old! I'm 42 Deidara…42! That is not old! Lola is 39! Thirty nine is not old Deidara!" Sasori argued.

"So, Sasori did you have the big hair or the tight pants….or both?" Kisame wondered.

"You'll see." Sasori opened up to the middle of the yearbook.

"Holy fucking hell, seriously!" Hidan couldn't believe it. "What did you just paint those pants on?"

"I told you, you had to have one or the other to survive."

"What the hell is the literature club?" Zetsu asked.

"We read novels and discussed them." Sasori explained.

"That's it? And you got your picture in the yearbook…….for reading?" Itachi thought that was lame.

"Hey, literature club was a rewarding experience." Sasori tried to convince him. "Let's see….I didn't realize Hidan played soccer. I played as well." Sasori flipped to the soccer team page, Hidan felt honored that they had something in common.

"Oh Sasori danna! I bet you were amazing, yeah!" Deidara was excited.

"I played forward mostly…good times…only overall the team kind of sucked so we didn't win very much. But you know that's okay because here was one of the greatest moments of my junior year…" Sasori flipped some more pages.

"You won the national math tournament?" Kakuzu asked.

"Well, yeah the math team did, but I had the highest national score in the pre-calculus competition."

"Why do you sleep with him?" Kisame asked Lola.

"Does the mathematical word multiples mean anything to you?" Kisame had never turned that red before.

"That's a really good answer." He said trying to keep from laughing. He didn't know if she was serious or not.

"I'm starting to understand why he ended up with Lola and not, say, Dana." Kakuzu whispered to Tobi.

"Ooooh what's this thing, yeah?" Deidara asked turning the page.

"That was the engineering class project. We were supposed to build a bridge cable of supporting 10 tons. That was one of my favorite classes."

"I am like….so confused right now, yeah." Deidara said not completely understanding the whole project.

"What are the couples' pages?" Tobi wondered as they continued through the book.

"Pictures of all the couples of that year…and more so at the time the photo was taken. Since high school couples break up every 5 days. Oh hell, there's me and that was my girlfriend at the time. Well, actually we had been together most of that year."

"Now, I am like totally serious when I say this, she is so not as pretty as Lola, yeah."

"Hell no she's not, and she' wasn't nearly as smart…but I didn't really give a shit about that…I was 17 and she was loose."

"She may have been loose but at least she looks nice in the picture." Lola said.

"Yeah, it was a good picture. Well, that's all I have, time for Kakuzu's year book." Sasori said putting his at the bottom of the pile.

"Wait wait, I do have one question….I know you've always been the smartest of all of us guys…and I know this was your junior yearbook….but what did you end up graduating Sasori?" Zetsu asked.

"Fifth." It was impressive. But what did Kakuzu have in store to share?


	5. Chapter 5 The Fashion Club

"DANA! IT'S DONE! LOOK OUR CAKE IS DONE BAKING!" Marisol was thrilled.

"Oh my god! Get the oven mitt, yeah. We'll take it out!" Dana said opening up the oven.

"Is it this thing that looks like a watermelon?"

"No, I've seen Hidan set things on that after they come out of the oven, yeah."

"Oh, is it this ugly plaid thing?"

"That's it!" Dana said her eyes perking up. And so they pulled the strawberry cake out of the oven…..it was horridly uneven. One side was all poofed up and the other side was so thin that the end of it had burned. Marisol took the cake out of the oven and they sat it on the stove to cool. Of course they looked at it wondering why it was shaped oddly.

"Dana…..why does it look funny? That said is all puffy and that other side is black, like it's burned.

"I don't know, we followed all the steps so you know we did it right, yeah. Okay, okay now let's see when we can put this pink frosting on it." Dana quickly picked up the can of pink frosting and read it. "Okay, Marisol it says right here that the cake has to cool, yeah." The light bulb in Marisol's head just switched on…..

"Oh my god! Dana! There's a fan upstairs….I'll go get it!" Marisol ran off to get the fan before Dana could tell her what a wonderful idea that was.

"West Taigakure Jr.-Sr. Academy for Boys….god….those were the days…..FROM HELL." Kakuzu said unpleasantly.

"Oh my god…..this was an all boys school, yeah? Was everyone like gay and stuff?" Deidara wondered.

"No, but it's a wonder we all weren't. God and this was when I was a freshman. I was still this horrible little looking kid….I hadn't grown at all! Look at my horrid freshman picture!" Kakuzu pointed to his terrible little picture.

"You know…I was way hotter as a freshman." Itachi said.

"You're an asshole." Lola told Itachi.

"No Lola, I just speak the truth and sometimes the truth hurts." Itachi said gently to her. Lola rolled her eyes. Deep, deep, deep down Lola wanted to kick Itachi between the legs nearly every 10 minutes but of course, her being the woman she was….never actually went through with it.

"Oh and look at this….here I am in the boys choir…I was a tenor." There was Kakuzu standing in the tenor section of the choir.

"I would have never thought you to be a singer." Sasori told him.

"It was a short lived career, high school only. Oh and look at this…the all boys drama club."

"So that would mean there wasn't a lot of drama?" Zetsu asked.

"Quite the opposite, everyday was dramatic in one way or the other."

"Kakuzu, about these uniforms, yeah." Deidara began to quiz Kakuzu on the horrid school uniforms.

"Don't get me started….they were so itchy. And my hair….my god I never did anything with it!" Kakuzu complained. Hidan turned the next few pages.

"Seriously, check this out, the Junior finance club?" Hidan pointed out.

"I actually did like that about high school. The junior finance club taught me how to be the thrifty, money managing machine that I am today!" Kakuzu said proudly.

"Oh whatever, more like the moronic tight ass that you are today, seriously!" Hidan said.

"You only say that because you didn't know anything about budgeting before you met me!" Kakuzu said.

"I am NOT getting in to this with you, seriously." Hidan said.

"Anyway, here I am as the class treasurer! See, my talents with money were realized early on!" Kakuzu said.

"Isn't being class treasurer as a freshman kind of a big deal?" Tobi asked.

"Yes, Tobi and thank you for realizing."

"Well you're yearbook is nice and everything Kakuzu….but I see mine, yeah!" Deidara said grabbing his yearbook, which was the thickest of all the year books laying there.

"Oh my god! This is so exciting! Marisol will be in this book because I was a junior…she would have been a senior, yeah! Iwagakure Academy for Visual and Performing Arts. Marisol! Marisol come over here, you're in this year book with me, yeah! Deidara had no idea she was covered in pink frosting where she and Dana had been sloppily icing their strawberry cake while a giant fan cooled it. Her face, her clothes, her fingers, her arms were covered in pink. Nonetheless she rushed over to the living room.

"Oh my god! You were so a junior that year….wait….that means….oh my god that's my senior year!" She started licking the icing off her fingers, now Dana was alone in the kitchen with a giant fan blowing on the cake and icing all over the pan, the counter top….everything. The cake looked absolutely wretched and Dana was trying to ice the entire thing with a butter knife and her fingers.

"Okay we'll skip through all this boring stuff, yeah." Deidara said skipping over the graduation, the valedictorian speech, the faculty list, and the scholarship awards. Oh my god there it is, there it is Marisol! Deidara frantically pointed to the Latin ballroom class pictures page.

"Wait, wait…..I didn't think you two were together in high school?" Itachi asked looking at the candid photo of Deidara and Marisol's salsa rehearsal.

"We weren't." Deidara said sadly. "But, I took as many classes as I could that she was in, yeah. I loved the Latin class and no not because Marisol could say all the Spanish terms, yeah!" Deidara added.

"It was because you got to put your hands on the hips of the girl you wanted but you were forced to be just friends with because she was always with someone else, wasn't it?" Sasori asked. Deidara bit his lip.

"Yeah." He answered.

"I don't want to talk about the guy I was with that year." Marisol said just as sadly.

"Oh my god! Look at the next page…it's the dance team, yeah. And there are the senior members…oh my god there's Marisol right there, yeah!" Deidara pointed frantically.

"I would have so not fit in at that school." Lola said.

"Look! There's me and you at the snowflake dance!" Marisol said flipping over a couple of pages. "God my boyfriend was like so jealous that I went with you to that…but he had like totally pissed me off." Marisol said.

"That dance was more fun than the prom that year, yeah." Deidar turned the page.

"Marisol! THE FASHION CLUB!"

"Oh my god, you're kidding right, please tell me it's not true." Kisame said.

"No, Kisame look! See, we were both in the fashion club. There I am making that bitch Eva that I hated try on the outfit I picked out for her….I swear to this day I will argue her about solids versus patterns on dresses, yeah."

"You have changed absolutely none since high school Deidara. I mean in every aspect possible…..you just haven't changed at all." Zetsu said.

"Zetsu, I was like…..smart in high school, now why would I want to change that, yeah. I mean that year…I passed math AND was voted the most natural blonde." No one had any response to that. Oh my god, there's Marisol's senior ballet solo!!!"

"Aww, I miss that routine. I also used that routine to audition for the company I dance for now! They so loved it!"

"Marisol! Marisol come help me, yeah! I just dropped a hunk of icing on the floor." Marisol quickly went to Dana's rescue admiring how terrific the cake was looking.

"Um…..is there a reason everyone that went to this school was beautiful?" Kakuzu asked.

"Tuition only school, yeah. You know…it's to like….keep the ugly people out or something. But you know I never did understand that…..I would be friends with ugly people, yeah. I mean, the school should have let them in too!" Deidara's answer made no sense…

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Oh my god, if you think it's the sculpture class then you're right, yeah! Oh my god there's my junior project…it's a peacock!" Deidara said pointing to him standing beside his giant clay sculpture of a peacock. Hidan turned the next page.

"What's that, seriously."

"That was only so much fun! I got to be one of the critics in the annual school fashion show, yeah. That's me holding up a 6 for that model…I didn't like the jacket he picked out, yeah. Of course I was in that fashion show too. I wore something my dad has designed, yeah!"

"Fascinating." Sasori said dryly.

"Why the hell didn't I know your school existed. I would have so transferred. My stupid foolish little brother could have NEVER survived there and that would have been fun." Itachi said.

"Itachi this was only the most fun high school, ever. Of course one time, I accidently blew up the biology lab because we were supposed to dissect a fish and well I thought I could get it done a lot faster instead of cutting the stupid thing, yeah. That wasn't fun…my hair smelled like smoke and chemicals for a week, yeah."

"So what else did you do that year?" Tobi wondered.

"That's all, yeah. Well except for the tap class, it was fun but I was way better at ballroom, yeah. Hey! Lola, do you have a year book?" Deidara wondered putting his year book back on the table.

"Uh….no, no I…don't have one here." Lola said nervously.

"Yeah you do, remember it's upstairs in the computer desk? The bottom drawer? It has your name engraved on the cover?" Sasori said quickly. Lola stared at him.

"Thanks." She said sarcastically.

"Oooooh, Lola! Go get it! Please, oh please, oh please, oh please!? We want to see it, yeah!" Deidara begged her.

"Yes, Lola go get it, we have to see it." Hidan told her. And so Lola reluctantly, Lola went upstairs to dig out her year book. Of course she couldn't help but notice the pink disaster in the kitchen…..


	6. Chapter 6 Cake for Lola

"We did it! Oh my god, Dana! We made this cake all by ourselves!" Marisol was so excited. They admired their strawberry cake…with its pink frosting messily adoring the top of it and clinging to the sides of the pan where they had gotten a little wild with their frosting techniques. And of course there was the fact that half the cake was heaved up and the other half was burned…and the fact that there was pink icing all over the kitchen counter. There was only one thing left to do with this cake….cut it and taste it.

"Oh my god Marisol, get a knife yeah!" Marisol handed Dana the frosting covered butter knife. She then reached over her head for a plate. They couldn't wait to try this thing. Meanwhile, Lola had just flopped her year book down into the pile of other year books. There is was….Paul Revere High School Shelton, Connecticut Class of 1987. In the lower right hand corner it was indeed engraved: LOLA M. AAGARD.

"Lola! You're from Connecticut!" Itachi said slightly shocked.

"Oh my god…that explains what that very subtle accent you have is…I couldn't place it, seriously." Hidan said referring to her east coast dialect that really wasn't all that pronounced unless you got her pissed.

"Oh shit, not another 80's year book. The 80's were such a….time of poor fashion judgment, yeah." Deidara said slightly nervous about what was within these pages.

"God I haven't looked at this thing in years. It must have been in one of those boxes when we moved." Lola said opening up the front cover. Inside the cover someone had written 'Lola, you better be loose as a 5 dollar Manhatten whore next time I see you, bitch! Love always, Ben' Lola laughed out loud.

"Okay you owe us an explanation." Kisame said.

"Ben was one of my very best friends…he was very gay…he had major issues with me having graduated high school a virgin. This is my senior year book. Deidara gasped.

"Oh, were you like fat or something? Is that why no one would sleep with you, yeah?" Lola looked up at him.

"No…I was too busy trying to get an A in physics so I could do this….." Lola flipped a couple pages over and pointed to her graduating class of which she was the valedictorian.

"Oh god the hair, the hair, the hair….so much big hair." Kakuzu said noticing Lola's graduating picture among others.

"That looks totally normal to me." Sasori said.

"No wonder! You graduated in this same horribly unstable decade!" Itachi said.

"So you were valedictorian…wow." Kisame was impressed. "Oh you get your own picture with you list of activities! Holy…shit Lola….that's a big list." Kisame said looking at the list.

"Let's see, student council president, debate team, mock trial, president of the young democrats society, orchestra, string quintet, tennis team, peer tutoring, school improvement committee, national honor society, and quiz bowl team. And you morons wonder why she graduated a virgin." Sasori said.

"See, that list right there? That's the kind of thing that gets Sasori off….it's not that Lola's pretty…it's because Lola can do everything…and her brains can kick his ass. It's a strange concept to me really." Hidan whispered to Zetsu.

"God, Lola, you're so 80's with that polka dot headband…and those huge bangle bracelets." Tobi said looking at the young democrats society picture.

"You were voted most likely to own a billion dollar corporation…I would have voted you something else." Sasori said winking at her. Lola smiled.

"What?" she wondered knowing good and well it was going to be some smartass answer.

"I'll tell you when the kids aren't around."

"Oh shut up, you would have never slept with me in high school. You and I would have been friends in high school and that's about it."

"Holy hell look at the size of that orchestra!" Kakuzu said. It was a giant orchestra.

"Yeah, I played violin. I'm somewhere in that row…but here's the string quarter. Oh god and that was my best friend Tanzie…god…she's a stripper in Boston now." Lola said.

"Did she keep that as her stage name?" Hidan asked.

"Oddly enough, she did." Lola said. "Oh here's the tennis team." Lola said turning to the tennis team photo. She was the only senior member that year. Sasori snaked his arms around Lola's waist

"Now, see I would have…." Sasori started.

"I don't want to know what you would have!" Lola laughed. Now, Deidara was still upset about the whole Lola graduating high school a virgin and so he was still trying to sort this all out in his head.

"Lola…..I can't keep it inside any longer….I have to ask you a personal question, yeah." Deidara took a deep breath and reach out and grabbed Lola's hands. "Now tell me the truth, are you still a virgin, yeah?" Lola looked at him with one of those 'what the hell' looks.

"Deidara, I know this is a challenge for you….but think real hard for a moment….WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK SASORI DOES WITH HER WHEN YOU AREN'T AROUND….. PLAY CARDS!?!?!?!?" Kisame shouted.

"Actually the other night we played…oh I beat her so horribly at crazy 8's." Sasori said.

"Well I don't know! I see them doing those weird math problems all the time I thought maybe that was their weird fetish, yeah!" Deidara defended himself.

"What, you mean balancing the monthly expenses?" Lola asked.

"If that's what you call it, yeah!" Deidara said still somewhat confused. Now this oh so pleasant conversation was interrupted by Dana thrusting a piece of strawberry cake in front of Marisol. Dana stood there gleaming with delight, plate in one hand, fork in the other.

"Here Lola, you get to be first, yeah!" Lola looked at the cake….the horribly cut, messy looking burned part of the cake. "Sorry it's in 7 pieces, it stuck to the bottom of the pan, yeah." Dana said. Lola looked at the cake and swallowed hard, then she got an idea. She shoved Dana's arm in front of Itachi.

"There, he loves ya…Itachi why don't you try Dana's cake."

"Oh honey it looks delicious." Itachi said pulling Dana to his lap and taking the fork from her. The sad thing was he was serious about the cake looking good. Itachi took the plate and admired this lovely pink dessert. He took the first bite of it and everyone else watched to see what his reaction would be.

"Honey, it's wonderful." He kissed her. Of course Marisol's piece of cake was cut even more horrible than Dana's piece of cake but nonetheless, the brought it over for Deidara to try.

"It is really good, yeah. Oh my god, Marisol! You're like….one of those chefs on TV, yeah."

"You really think so?" Marisol asked.

"Yes! I mean these are so not easy to make, yeah." Deidara reassured her.

"Okay well why you all eat that cake, me and Lola are going to Starbucks. Anyone else want to come?" Sasori said standing up from the table.

"I think you're on your own. If I drank any kind of coffee beverage this late in the day I would be wired the rest of the night, seriously." Hidan said.

"Well, hell we'll be wired too…..we just have our own way of dealing with it." Sasori winked at Hidan.

"If you two leave you're going to miss the cake, yeah!" Dana said.

"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! God, I hate that. You just eat my piece for me." Lola said sarcastically. "Oh and uh…you can have Sasori's piece too." Lola added quickly. And so they quickly fled the scene before any more of the cake could be served.

"Okay, Marisol I'll try the cake too." Tobi said. So Marisol went back in to the kitchen to clumsily cut the cake….deep down she knew Sasori would freak out when he and Lola came back and he saw how awful the kitchen looked. She and Dana would need to get everything cleaned up before they returned.

"Hey, hey, there's another yearbook in this box, seriously. I must have missed it." Hidan said noticing another book looming in the box below.

"Well then whose is it?" Kisame asked.

"I don't know…hold on let me pull it out. Maybe it's another year of our high school lives." Hidan reached down to get the yearbook.

"Oooooh shit…this…..is going to be good……" Hidan said holding up the yearbook for everyone else to see.

"Oh my god, you have GOT to be kidding me! Open it up Hidan, open it up!" Zetsu begged him….but whose year book did they find?


	7. Chapter 7 Revealed!

"I can not believe this is Kabuto's year book!" Kisame said. "Hurry, hurry! Open that thing, let's see if we can figure out what year he was!" Kisame was ecstatic.

"Oh my god, seriously, Kabuto was a freshman. Check out his huge glasses!" Hidan said.

"Hidan! He STILL has huge glasses!" Kakuzu argued.

"What, you don't think I know that? I mean his glasses are even bigger in this picture!"

"Whatever dumbass, the glasses only look bigger because his head is smaller!" Kakuzu yelled.

"No Kakuzu…Kabuto was a puny freshman…look how unusually smaller he was then the other boys in his class! Fuck you!" Hidan yelled back. Zetsu took the book away from them since this argument had just begun.

"Oh shit, check this out Kabuto was a part of the kayak club!" Zetsu said pointing to Kabuto holding up a giant kayak.

"And look at this picture, he won the spelling bee!" Tobi pointed out.

"And check this out Kabuto was a member of the costumes and props committee for the school dramatic arts department!" Kisame said pointing it out.

"Fuck you Kakuzu I have never worn curlers to bed and you know it! I wear hair gel, seriously. HAIR GEL!" Some how the argument had escalated into a completely different and obviously unpredictable argument.

"Man, we have got to keep this close by for black mail purposes." Kisame said. While all this was going on, Marisol, Dana, Itachi and Deidara were in the kitchen eating more of the strawberry cake.

"So, something I was thinking about for the wedding was to have two dinner entrée choices as well as an additional dessert along with the wedding cake, yeah. Of course, me and Itachi want a low fat wedding cake, yeah." Dana said eating the strawberry cake.

"I agree completely, low fat cake and alternate dessert all the way." Marisol said.

"Oh my god, Marisol we so have to pick our shoes for the wedding, yeah." Dana insisted.

"We should do that next week…oh! We should take Lola with us….I don't like her shoes. She rarely wears anything strappy!" Marisol said thinking she had the greatest idea ever.

"Look at this Kabuto was the captain of the pep squad!" Zetsu said.

"I wonder what the pep squad was?" Kakuzu had to ask.

"It appears that it had something to do with…well…pep." Kisame said.

"Oh check it out! Kabuto was the school newspaper editor!" Hidan said pointing to the list of newspaper personnel.

"Man, this is way too good! Who would have thought!? Kabuto! I mean….he is good with words." Zetsu said.

It seemed as though it was a very entertaining year book.

"Okay, Dana this kitchen looks awful, yeah. So I'll help you and Marisol clean up in here." Deidara said opening up the dishwasher.

"Yeah, give me some soap or something, I'll help you clean." Itachi said.

"You know, we did so good at baking this cake, I think that this year, we could handle Thanksgiving dinner." Marisol said.

"We could so do that! We could make a low fat turkey, yeah!" Dana said.

"But Dana, turkey is naturally a low fat meat already." Itachi told her.

"Oh well, then we can make low fat sweet potatoes, yeah!" Dana decided.

"Dana! You know what else we could make with it!? Cookies!" Marisol suggested getting excited over the fact that they could cook Thanksgiving dinner.

"We….are so going to do this, yeah!" Dana said thrilled with Marisol's idea.

"Do you think Kabuto knows we're looking at this right now?" Tobi asked.

"No Tobi, he doesn't have a clue. We're having our own fun." Kisame told him. Kabuto's year book had indeed proved to be great entertainment.

"So are we supposed to keep these year books? Or does the leader want them back?" Zetsu asked.

"Seriously, we're going to keep Kabuto's no matter what. But we could just give all the others back, I mean we don't have to keep them here." Hidan said.

"You know what, we really should start thinking about some early wedding plans, yeah." Dana said to whoever would answer.

"You mean like how many invitations to send out?" Marisol wondered.

"Yes! And who's going to be in charge of the guest book, yeah."

"Oh! I want to help pick out your dress Dana! Oh please, can I please, yeah?" Deidara begged her.

"Of course you can help, oh my god you're my brother, yeah! That's what brothers do, yeah!"  
"But your ass belongs to me. Remember that, you are my best man in this wedding and that means you have to be there for ME!" Itachi reminded Deidara.

"I know that but Dana is going to need me, yeah! I have excellent taste!"

"Well, fine….but you will owe me!" Itachi warned. "Oh and Marisol, don't put that cake pan back wet Sasori will have a fit if he finds water spots, you know how he is about water spots." Itachi warned her. Marisol quickly dried the pan out.

"Hey! We should go get in the pool after this. I am so hot after baking this cake and I mean me and Marisol worked like so hard on it, yeah."

"Oh my god we should take margaritas!" Marisol suggested diving in the freezer for the margarita mix that was made a few nights before.

"Okay, let's pack these year books back up. I need to polish my scythe." Hidan said.

"It's always something stupid with you Hidan." Kakuzu said rolling his eyes, but Hidan wasn't up for a fight. "Hey, don't' put Lola's year book in that box. She probably wants that back."

It had been a fun afternoon…and there was probably more similar afternoons to come in the future….

Hope everyone enjoyed this one! Look for my new story Akatsuki Fitness Club Membership coming soon!


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